Christmas Tunes: Celebratory, Murderous and Inappropriate

With the current holiday season, I have been playing my Christmas Mix in the car and in my office. A full run-through takes more than three (3) hours, and it gets a bit longer every year. While I enjoy just about every song, arrangement and vocal performance on the mix, a number of songs still lift my spirits more than others. While we've got a handful of days left to play the music, I thought I would list my favorite Christmas carols.

Traditional:
1. O Holy Night
2. Ode to Joy
3. O Christmas Tree
4. O Come All Ye Faithful

Apparently, if it starts with an "O," it's golden. (Yet another happy coincidence is that Jenn and I have the same favorite traditional hymn.) For the sake of consistency, I almost put "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" or "O Little Town of Bethlehem" at the five spot. None after these four (4) stood out in mind particularly.

Non-Traditional:
1. All I Want for Christmas Is You -- Mariah Carey
2. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime -- The Beatles
3. I Want an Alien for Christmas -- Fountains of Wayne
4. Glad Tidings -- Van Morrison
5. Christmas All Over Again -- Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

On the subject of holiday songs, there are a couple that I occasionally find unsettling. First, I've long suspected that "Winter Wonderland" has subtle assassination undertones. The main characters of the song build a snowman (a winter version of a "straw man"). After they say staged code words to establish contact, the straw man does the hit (i.e., the "job"). The straw man takes the fall, and the main characters conspire to make their plans for their next hit. Mr. and Mrs. Smith live happily ever after in the winter wonderland. Read the lyrics and decide for yourself.

In the meadow we can build a snowman
Then pretend he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
We'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you're in town
Later on
We'll conspire
As we dream by the fire,
To face unafraid
The plans that we've made
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Second, in a different way, certain versions of "Baby, It's Cold Outside" make me uncomfortable. I can appreciate some renditions that retain the playfulness of a couple debating whether to extend their evening together. However, I find some male vocals creepy. As I fidget in my seat, I only hear the "gentleman" who refuses to appreciate that "no means no." I presume that I have twisted the point of the song, but modern sensibilities and sensitivities have made either me hard of hearing or it hard to hear. I wonder what the equivalent of a "roofie" was in 1944, the year that the song was written.

My mother will start worry. (Beautiful, what's your hurry?) My father will be pacing the floor. (Listen to the fireplace roar.) So really, I'd better scurry. (Beautiful, please don't hurry.) But maybe just a half a drink more. (Put some records on while I pour.) The neighbors might faint. (Baby, it's bad out there.) Say, what's in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there.) I wish I knew how . . . (Your eyes are like starlight now.) to break this spell. (I'll take your hat; your hair looks swell.) I ought to say, "No, no, no sir."(Mind if I move in closer?) At least I'm gonna say that I tried. (What's the sense in hurtin' my pride?) I really can't stay. (Oh baby, don't hold out.)

[Baby, it's cold in jail.]